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Where are the men?

   My quest for dates began in January when my boyfriend of three years broke up with me because of distance. Distance, I can understand that. Why date someone who lives seven hours away when you can date someone who lives right next door?
   Fine.
   I took the breakup as a blessing at first. Heck, I was free! Free to date anyone (or two or three) I wanted. After all, I'm young, I'm supposed to have fun, right?
   Oh sure.
   My joy and bliss of being free quickly plummeted into a deep, dark depression. I was dating no one and I found out my old boyfriend was head over heels for another young woman in Raleigh - perfectly happy without me. I kept telling myself I'll get over this in time. I just need to keep busy. After all, "you can't expect to find a man if you are looking for one."
   Right? Isn't that what they say?
   Over the next few months I tried to keep busy. I went to the bars with my girlfriends and spent hours working out and sweating at the Y. I took up racquetball full force. All of these things did open up a lot of opportunities for meeting men; however, they were mostly older and married. (Although I did gain one young male companion that I'm thankful to have as a friend today.)
   Unfortunately, doing all those things did not thrust many dates upon me. and I swear, I wasn't looking all the time. The only thing I gained from those months at the Y was a body of steel from working out so much. (Which isn't so bad, I suppose.)
   Now that summer is here, I've dropped my visits to the Y and started my binge of tennis matches, walks in the park and visits to Grayson Lake. I've learned that looking for dates gets you nowhere and that a body of steel gets you unattractive men leaning out of windows making lewd remarks.
   Today, I'm still single. I can finally say I'm over my depression and I'm learning to be satisfied by myself for now. And going out with the girls isn't all bad.
   But, no matter how much I try to rationalize my situation and keep myself occupied, there are always the same two questions lingering in the back of my mind: Where are all the young, cute, educated, single men in Huntington? And why aren't they asking me to date them?

   Writer's note: I was inspired to write this column after I found out, through my other single friends, that I am not alone here. There are other young Huntington women out there searching for eligible bachelors just like me and just can't seem to find them.
   I also want to add that I have never had this problem before. I consider myself to be a fairly attractive person. (I wouldn't say I'm model material but I'm certainly not ugly.) And, I don't think I'm being overly picky with the guys that I do choose to go out with. After all, everyone should have his or her own standards.
   I've lived in Huntington for only a year now, yet I have considered moving away many times. It's not that I don't like Huntington. I do. It is just that for a person like myself, someone in her prime dating years, I feel as if my youthful years are slipping by me. It doesn't seem fair that at a time when I feel better about myself than I ever have before that I have no companion to share that with. But, I guess no one ever said life was fair.

The Herald-Dispatch, June 1994

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