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Breakins cause anger

   Once, I was a trusting person...once, I lived without fear...
   No more.
   One year ago, someone tried to break into my apartment. I had been home alone at the time. Never in my life had I ever felt so helpless.
   I remember sitting in my apartment alone in the dark with nothing to defend myself with, listening to the burglar as he tryed to get inside. I was able to call a nearby friend who happened to be home - she immediatly came running over, scaring the burglar away.
   I was lucky.
   The burglar never did make it into my apartment that night, so none of my possessions had been taken nor had I been physically injured. However, one very valuable thing had been taken from me mentally - my sense of security.
   The series of events (break-ins and rape) that have taken place in the South Side area recently have again reminded me of my lack of security. However, this time I don't just feel fear - I feel anger.

   There are many reasons for my anger:

   (1) I'm angry because I can't feel safe in my own apartment. Who gave anyone the right to take away something so precious to me as my security?
   (2) I'm angry because I am now seriously thinking of moving out of my home - a cute apartment - to a friend's place located in an area that is not as convenient. Why? Because I don't feel safe.
   (3) I'm angry because if I choose to move in with my friend for my safety, I'd be sacrificing my health - living with constant allergies - because I'm allergic to her cat.
   (4) I'm angry because I'm being forced to let other people dictate my actions. I don't feel like I have control over my own life.
   (5) I'm angry because I'm now super paranoid whenever I hear a noise when I'm in my apartment. I fear that someone is trying to break in.
   (6) I'm angry because I'd rather stay at work right now than go home to my apartment.
   (7) I'm angry because I hate feeling angry!

   Perhaps in a few weeks these feelings I have inside will subside; however, I don't think that I will ever forget this angry emotion. Nor will I forget the scared, panicky feeling of being alone and helpless.
   These incidents have forever changed me. I am now more cautious and more aware. And, I'm sorry to say...less trusting.

1996

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